Aurora Borealis by Billsie

I went to bed wishing I had taken a shower.

I was repeating myself more frequently by now.

Trying to sleep was like pulling teeth;

like pulling teeth too little, too late.

I need more soap.

It fell to me to raise the morale of the office.

It fell to me and raise morale I did.

Raising my own was not possible.

Not possible; a sexist and a racist in the closet;

a paradox and a failure.

I need more soap.

Soap and water!

A glint on the wall was only the glow of headlights.

Lie waking I would do and I would now.

I'd sooner don a bunny suit;

a bunny suit than admit I wanted to pray.

I need more soap.

Soap and water!

Soapy water!

Now there's money in the water.

My wife caught me with pornography this morning.

My wife caught me as surely I was caught.

Since I was caught, I fixed the pipe.

I fixed the pipe to prevent the water from destroying it.

I need more soap.

Turning away I tripped and broke my toaster.

Oddly, this was not much of concern

since, as I fell, I smashed my head.

I smashed my head on a corner;

dying instantly.

I need more soap.

Soap and water!

Soapy water!

Now there's money in the water.